Pie Dementia. I don't remember eating this pie but I have a picture of it on my phone.

Dissociative identity disorder?  Or just too much pie?

I wish I remembered. It looks like a good apple pie. 

Yup. McDonald's Famous Hot Apple Pie

These are challenging times. Pi Man is not exempt.

The coffee houses and the dessert shops are shuttered. The blessing to sit with a friend and enjoy a slice of pie has been curtailed. Like many of us, I have been driven to nostalgia for comfort. Driven way back. To the humble beginnings of Pi Man's journey.

I kissed a McDonald's Hot Apple Pie this week. And I liked it.

It's been decades since I indulged in Mickey D's contribution to pie-time cuisine. Not since Pi Man's 4-20 days maybe. But I digress. Before I jump into the Experience, let me share some facts.

• The original McDonald's Hot Apple Pie debuted in 1960 in Knoxville TN.  So giving props where props are due - this thing has outlived about 100 other items on that menu which have come and gone over the years.
• In other countries, fruit pie tastes run wild. McDonald's offers pineapple pies in Thailand and banana pies in Philippines. 
• All the apples that give their life for your pie-filling are American born and bred! 

The Experience

COVID lock-down meant this was a drive-thru experience. To ensure instant gratification, I needed to eat the pie in the parking lot. I was bit concerned, because I remember the pie of my youth burning the shit out of my mouth.  I was also concerned because I did not see my Pie on the drive-thru menu but upon asking the helpful Mickey D associate, I was informed that it indeed still existed at 99 cents!

Upon receiving the pie and pulling over to eat it,  I was shocked!

• It is not fried anymore. It has not been fried since 1992 or something like that. It is baked. Damn, if I knew that I wouldn't have brought my cholesterol medication with me. 
• It has lattice on the crust. Which is like when I put nice rims on my 1976 Ford Pinto in college. Solid effort to impress but really, not so  much.

I bit into it. Carefully, expecting it to be scorching hot. It was not.  It was room temperature plus 2 degrees. Very nice actually.  

The verdict?  It isn't the worse pie I've had, believe it or not. It is better than some lame ass store pies. It may be better than a couple homemade pies people have shoved under my nose in the past decade too.

The sad part. Well, there are a lot of sad parts, but the saddest is a grown man eating a pie by himself in a parking lot. That is not exactly what Pi Man and the Pie, Coffee and Conversation blog is all about. But you know, desperate times... 

Pi Man signing out and wishing everyone safety and sanity! 

I got me a bout of "Missing My Coffee House" blues.

Dear Closed Coffee House.  

Never again will I take you for granted.  
Never again will I assume you are always available, waiting with anticipation for my arrival.
Never again will I bad mouth you when all the good tables are taken by people not buying anything.
Never again will I act like a 6 year old when the Chocolate Mint Decaf is gone for the day.
Never again will make a scene when the dude with the bad music taste plays an extended Oingo-Boingo play list. 
Please come back.  

I miss you.  I need you.

Peddler Universe and Coffee House Culture

Wake up Coffee House Owners.  There is a group who spend a lot of money. The Passing-Through-Town Peddlers. And we have special needs.

Salespeople are a unique constituency of the Coffeehouse Culture.  We roam. Yeah, we may have a “home-office” coffeehouse like every other remote worker,  but we spend a whole lot of time on the road, which means we are short term guests in foreign shops. We pop into a coffeehouse wherever we are. We get done whatever needs to be done. Then we disappear.  I visit 75 different coffee shops a year in 15 cities. I spend money in all of them. I go back to the good shops. I never return to the lame ones.  It is easy to ignore me because you do not see me much – but I am part of a large guild of traveling coffee-drinkers. There are lots of us, entering everyday a new coffeehouse in a new city.  We are not looking for the sociability and community elements of Coffeehouse Culture. We are looking for a corner with table space and accessible Internet. We buy coffee (caffeine) and pastry (sugar) because we are stressed-out maniacs. We do this all the time, repeatedly, all day.  We just want space – can’t you keep a reserved “peddler” section that has a one-hour time limit?  Can you make easy to figure out the WiFi password (or better yet, just let people connect?) A lot of us have MiFi devices…but we forget them.  And for my sake…can’t you have a nice slice of apple pie available to purchase?  Bad bagels and stale coffeecakes just don’t do it.

Happy New Year! Are you ready to break that resolution yet?

Williamsburg Brooklyn,  home of the hip, the young and the cool.
Where old men tourists wear skinny jeans and look like a tool.

- Pi Man (probably wearing skinny jeans)

People, I'm back from holiday break. Did you miss the Pi Man?  I had some business to conduct. I had some quality family time to spend. But rest assured, it that did not slow down my pursuit of Pie, Coffee and Conversation.

Over Xmas, I was in Brooklyn NYC.  It allowed me to sample some local fare and engage in some local discussion.  Brooklyn is a big place, so excuse any generality; but if you are unfamiliar with the Williamsburg neighborhood, this is what you need to know:

(1) There is a coffee shop for every single person who lives there.
(2) It borders to the north with the Greenpoint neighborhood. which is a large Polish community now infused with Modern Hipster.  Greenpoint only has a coffee shop for every 3 people, but that shop will be within 500 yards of a place that sells beef tripe soup.

(3) 5 star commitment to the Sweet Tooth.  From the basic to the ethnic to the wildly unusual, you will find it here. I indulged in some Makowiec ( poppy seed cake) on Christmas Day (before the dinner trip to Chinatown, but that Cantonese-inspired holiday delight is another blog topic).

Some amazing sweet spots in Williamsburg -   Bedford Baking Studio (Turkish influenced) and Tomoko (Japanese-French desert fusion). 
I sliced up some pie at Martha's Country Bakery, which is a crazy pie shop with a few locations in Queens and Brooklyn.  Serious cream pies to eat in or take out.  Highly encourage stopping by the location on Bedford Street if you are looking for a sugar high.

Epictetus is a good pie and coffee companion.

One of the happiest people back in the "not always so good old days" Roman Empire was a Greek slave with a permanent physical disability. His name was Epictetus and you can still read his "manual" called  Enchiridion if you like. It costs 60 cents on Amazon.

Epictetus

What was his secret?  He knew what was worth focusing on and what was not. And he didn't waste much time focusing on what he could not control.

He  was a bright dude. He knew control freaks aren't happy.  He knew worriers were not happy. He knew that just about everything in life is out of our control. Humbling to think, but other than what we think and judge, the world really just keeps spinning without us. We do not control our health, bank account, job, family, friends, car, house, cat, or water pipe in the basement. We only control what we think about the situation.

“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.”

Try this with your next slice: Equal Exchange Organic African Roots Coffee

If you are looking for a good cup of coffee to pair with a fruit pie, I am a big fan of Equal Exchange's Organic African Roots.  Equal Exchange is my favorite fair trade organization. It has over 30 years of success fighting the cause for an independent food system that works for farmers, consumers and independent business. This light roast is great anytime, but I especially like it with desserts. It is magical with berry pies. Sourced from Ethiopia and the Congo, it has its own blackberry under-note. Good for it!  Here's is the link to buy


Organic African Roots Coffee

Thanksgiving 2019: UnoccuPIEd. Tales from the Pie Side of Hell

Oh the humanity...Thanksgiving 2019 will be the year of Pie Regret.  I have not been this heart-broken since the 1st grade, when the little girl with pigtails down the street moved to Minnesota. This year's family get together (an overall incredible affair, kudos to my sister and brother-in-law) was to be resplendent with a pumpkin pie, a chocolate cream pie, an apple pie and a bumble berry (mixed berry) pie. The pie delivery was to be handled by 3 people.  This was going to the finishing touch on a wonderful occasion, a planned menagerie of pie loveliness on this pie-holy day. How did it go?  Pie Regret. We played the whole game down two skaters in the penalty box - the apple pie and the bumble berry pie never made it into the game.

Sorrow #1:  The Missing Apple Pie

One unnamed family member said he was going to make a killer apple pie.  It would be, he noted, the 3rd extraordinary apple pie he baked this November.  He sent a picture of what I could expect.

Instead, this is what I got.

What happened?  I didn't get an apple pie, that is what happened. There was a "blender/food processor" issue which brought this bold idea to an unfortunate conclusion. 

Sorrow #2.  The Missing Bumble Berry Pie

Another unnamed family member had promised to deliver this piece of pie heaven to Thanksgiving. The mixed berry pie.  I love it. 

 

What did I get?

What happened here?  Another sad tale of "I forget the pie at home. I left it in the refrigerator." 

Moment of Gratitude

Thankfully, the pumpkin pie was tasty and the chocolate cream pie was a crowd pleaser. My gratitude to my sister-in-law for saving the 2019 Pie Festivities. She alone kept the day from turning into a pie-less Thanksgiving. Along with some coffee, we were able to keep the pie, coffee and conversation tradition alive.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Now onto the December holidays! 

 

The goddess of Thanksgiving Leftovers. The Turkey Pot Pie.

Turkey Pot Pie and I.  We love each other.  In that special way.
It makes sad to see TPP not get its due. The only time I remember Turkey Pot Pie appearing in anything pop cultural was in the movie Breakfast Club, during John Bender/Judd Nelson's soliloquy on family upbringing ("...fix me a turkey pot pie." Look it up.)   Hardly a tribute. I just do not get it. Turkey Pot Pie should be everywhere.  It is that good.

Below are some Turkey Pot Pie recipes. So easy even a schmuck like me can make it.
Happy Day After Thanksgiving!

Turkey Pot Pie Video

Damn Delicious

Dad's Leftover Turkey Pot Pie

Buckle up Millennial. The Pie Ride is closer than you think.

Cake is a natural with kids. It is sweet bread with even sweeter frosting.  It is cheap to make. You can load it with sugar, design it like a coloring book, even write your name on it.  It holds candles like a champ, so you get that Pavlovian thing (cake = birthday = presents).  We are all the product of rampant childhood Cake Fantasy.

Pie-love is a longer burn. A grown-up endeavor. You need to slow down a bit on the Skittles. Your taste buds start to ease up on 24X7 desire for pixie sticks. You start to change. You admire the crust factor of good pie.  You start to engage more with the meat pies (By the way, how was that last Chicken Cake?  Thought so).

Pie and Adulting go hand and hand.

I maintain 40 is the coming of age for pie-lovers.  That’s when the you start to see the shift.  Have some fun at your next family get together and ask people if they prefer cake or pie.  Compare the results to the ages.  Odds are you will see the correlation between pre-40 (cake) and post-40 (pie).

I believe the Millennial Generation will be approaching Pie-Age soon.  I look forward to the changes coming from them. I hope for increased pie blog coverage and new, unique and thrifty pie experiences. The pie world will never be the same. Welcome! 

#PieandCoffeeMovement - Looking for a Conversation Starter?

Pie and Coffee means ubiquity.  You can and will enjoy it alone.  Smiling at your kitchen table, sitting in your car @ some random suburban parking lot (no judging). A zen moment.

But Pie and Coffee can be much more. It is gift from our ancestors to connect with other people in person. When your mouth is filled with pie, you need to stop and chew...and listen. You literally have to shut your pie hole.  Add the warm feel of some of your favorite coffee and you are conversing. No mobile phones, social media or silly pie blogs.  Just people being people.

And doing pie and coffee is easy!  All you need is pie and...well, coffee.

Maybe some of you are looking for #pieandcoffeemovement conversation topics?  Courtesy of my friend Ethan, here is one to ponder.

What is the best song with the word 'pie" in the title? 

Don McLean's American Pie?

Custard Pie by Led Zeppelin?

Apple Pie a la Mode by Destiny's Child?  (Pander Alert: I threw that one in for the Millennials. I have long submitted that pie-lovers do not peak in their pie-loving years until they hit 40 years.  Maybe that is why this list trends to the older side?  OK Boomer.) 

There are a lot of them. Personal favorite?  John Fogerty's Rhubarb Pie. Because rhubarb is the unspoken sidekick to many a great fruit pie. 

Rhubarb Pie

An alternative is Black Coffee from Humble Pie.  It is a good cover of an Ike and Tina Turner song. 

Black Coffee by Humble Pie

Pie and Coffee Movement Spotlight: I Like Pie Bake Shop (Claremont, CA)

Listen Up. California Pie is Special.
OK, agreed, it is a big, populous state, ranging from Mexico to the Pacific Northwest. Of course it has size advantage (and size matters).  And it grows everything under the sun, so the breadth and freshness of the fruit is top-shelf.  But beyond the obvious,  I proclaim California Baking Magic that is unique to The Land of Milk and Honey.  People break rules, people strive, they reinvent.  As an American Northeasterner, I won't say I enjoy everything about California, but I will sing this song loud. I have had some of the best pie in my life in the Eureka State. Over and over again.  And here is one of my all time favorites (regardless of the global location).

I LIKE PIE Bake Shop in Claremont.   (http://www.ilikepiebakeshop.com/)

Claremont is about 30 miles from LA. It is one of those really expensive "Top Ten Best Places to Live" college towns. I LIKE PIE is a full range provider - sweet, savory, mini pies, hand pies and full pies.  I have had the honor of eating there a number of times, Every time my expectations get higher and every time they are exceeded.  When does that happen in life?

The menu rotates with the season. You need to be flexible.  Favorite Experiences:
The Butternut Squash Hand Pie (walk and eat without shame).
Cherry Mini Pie (below - as you can see, I am in a trance).
The Salted Caramel Banana Mini Pie (I felt the need to confess my sin after that bout of gluttony).

Pie and Coffee Movement Spotlight: Pastiche Fine Desserts (Providence RI)

Autumn weekends in New England. Pie Season.

Pastiche "you so Fine I can't keep my hands off you" Deserts is a local favorite, located on Spruce St in the Federal Hill section of Providence. Near Caserta Pizzeria, which is another kind of fine pie dining.  And coincidentally, only a couple hundred yards away from where I got nailed by a hit-and-run car on my bike one October evening in 1986.  Not to elicit sympathy 33 years later, but you know...I'll take it.

Pastiche Fine Deserts has what people call "old world charm" which is what they say when they really don't know how to describe it. Think of the average chain store... and then completely reorient yourself by thinking the exact opposite. Busy, crowded, electric and dripping with people who are there for the goods. Pastiche labels themselves a "cozy, lively European-style nook serving house-made fruit tarts, cakes, chocolates & pastries."  I'll buy that. Better than old world charm.

Amongst all that old-world charm, I suspect you can’t get away with crappy delivery. Maybe you can coast for a while on ambiance, but these customers are here for something special. You need to uphold that type of expectation. Phonies die an ugly death. Pastiche delivers.

I sampled the Dutch Apple Pie. It was fresh, generous with an excellent crust structure. A thoroughly enjoyable pie. They also offered Key Lime and Southern Pecan Pie, as well as a Cranberry/Raspberry Tart (by the way, why does Raspberry have a “P” in it?) and a Pumpkin/Praline Tart.